When she was in college, Comfort Shields met another student named Ben, a man who’d been in the navy and only returned to school at age 24. They began a relationship and fell in love. Eighteen months later, Ben killed himself. This memoir details their relationship alongside Comfort’s struggle to survive herself, to grow and learn from the experience, and forgive herself, with which she still struggles.
I wasn’t sure I was going to like this book when I heard about it. My brother passed away when I was nineteen, and I avoid the subject of death far more than the average person my age. It’s still too close to me. I took a chance, and I’m glad I did. Comfort’s struggle is oddly empowering for her and for the reader, whom she has chosen to allow into her world. This beautiful memoir succeeds as both a story of her grief and her recovery and as a tribute to Ben, who struggled so much himself. Shields writes well and clearly, telling us her story in a way that makes her sympathetic while making it clear that she doesn’t expect any. Despite the difficult subject, the book isn’t hard at all to read and is in fact engrossing. Her struggle and the situation is clearly sad, but it is focused on the positive, not the negative. It is a book full of hope and memories.
The reader watches as the relationship between Ben and Comfort is strained by his mental illness, even though they so obviously love each other and she tries so hard to keep them together. The parts when they were falling in love were extremely touching, knowing the outcome of the relationship, experiencing this dual journey.
I found the most poignant and important lesson that Comfort learned is that she could not control the life of anyone else. She could not have saved Ben; it was out of her hands and she did the best she could. She discovers this over and over again throughout the course of her life, and not only is it true for her, it’s true for us all. Her journey is inspiring and I can imagine it giving hope and help to not only people whose loved ones have killed themselves, but to anyone who has lost someone and does not know where to go next.
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I have one copy of Surviving Ben’s Suicide to give away. It’s a bit of a strange book to get excited about a contest for, considering the subject matter, but this book is so wonderful and touching that I want to spread it around and get it known! There are only two copies of this book on LibraryThing, and there should be many more. This book could be so helpful, and people are missing out. Help me share Comfort’s story, and the memory of Ben, with the world.
So. It’s easy to be entered. All you have to do is leave a comment here. If you post about this on your blog, I’ll give you an extra entry. This is actually my first giveaway, so please, enter away! You have until Sunday, July 13th to enter, and I will mail the book on Monday, July 14th. Good luck!
It sounds like an interesting book and i would like to get the chance to read it and review it. now, i am sure the crowds will be lined up for it, but i can but hope.
I’m working my way through it now, otherwise I’d try to win it. It’s certainly a moving book.
Sounds like a good read, please enter me.
Sounds interesting.
Sounds like a very moving and intriguing book- I would love the opportunity to read it.
sounds like a very good book. I’ll drop my name in the hat.
For someone who just recently suffered a loss of a loved one, I would love to read this book. Sounds like it brought you some comfort. It’s nice of you to want to spread that to others. Anyways, please enter me in the contest. Thank you. =)
I’d love to get a copy of this to review (and possibly pass on when I’m done)! I’ve listed my book blog (new) and I’m also on LT, user name the_hag.
Thanks for the chance to enter!
AG
I’m going to post on my bloggy! This book sounds very interesting despite the title, LOL
What stuck out was the mention of the “Navy” and the name Comfort Shields, very creative!
I hear its your first giveaway! I’m actually having my first next week! Be sure to keep checking back!
I’m a big fan of memoir (personal memoir, not celebrity memoir), and would like a chance to win this; I’ll post on my blog about it as well. It must have been very well written for you to stick with it despite the difficult subject matter.
oh pick me!!! i love free books!!!
For a 2nd entry , I spread the word here: http://kristiniac.blogspot.com/2008/07/weekend-round-up-contestsgiveaways.html
Thanks so much for the opportunity.
It sounds like an interesting book.
sounds like a touching read to me.
if you’re sending international, please toss my name in the hat.
pick me! pick me! pick me!
Sounds like a good one, and I can understand why it might seem strange to enjoy a book about such a dark subject. One of my recent favorites was Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, which chronicles her life in the first year after her husband’s death (after 40 years of marriage)…it was heartwrenching but incredible.
P.S. please enter me in the giveaway
I’d like to be included for this one! tWarner419@aol.com
I’d very much like to read this memoir. I’m struggling through grief right now and perhaps this will help me find some vestige of comfort.
Meghan, I just wanted to stop by to thank you so much for your wonderful review and to thank everyone else here for their interest in SURVIVING BEN’S SUICIDE, which means the world to me. I am deeply sorry about your brother and can only begin to imagine how painful that must have been for you. xx
Thanks for posting the review as well as the personal comments. I lost my son three years ago. He did not commit suicide, he was murdered. It is always going to be difficult to deal with but it does help sometimes to find a point of view that gives some relief. I felt very strongly about Joan Didon’s A Year of Magical Thinking. Look forward to reading the book.
This seems like it could help a lot of people through similar situations, I’d donate it to my library.